I am now on day 3 of my new life in Maui, Hawaii. Aside from my adventurous cliff driving excursion, my time here has consisted of me laying on the beach, reading, and running. The atmosphere is so relaxing and refreshing and the view here is breathtaking. It is summer so I won't enter my first semester of college until the fall. The down time I have here is nice but gives me way too much time to think about my mom. My mother was originally born in Russia but moved here as a young child with just her grandmother. She used to tell me it was to get away from the treacherous streets of Russia and the constant risk of succumbing to the drug related lifestyle that is common there. I was told she had two older sisters that remained there, and from what I gathered they both suffered from severe addictive lifestyles. Its ironic however, that my mom left those conditions in Russia only to find her true addiction here, alcohol. As far as I can remember the most constant thing in her life has been alcohol. Jobs and men came and went, but the bottle always remained as did the countless nights I would find her passed out on the floor of her bedroom, bottle empty beside her. Raising myself and caring for her was never easy. There were times she'd remain in bed for days and others where she wouldn't come home. Despite all of this I always loved my mother and thought this was the only way to live. Leaving her was the hardest but I knew getting away from her toxic ways was better than eventually becoming addicted to the poison myself.
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| Poison |
I like how right from the beginning, you are writing in the present tense, it makes me feel like I’m right there with you and I am able to really buy into what you’re saying. I feel like this post is a lot more personal that those of other students and I really appreciate your bravery in writing about it. I like your choice of colors, your template and your background a lot—they all work really well to compliment each other as well as your theme and are very pleasing to the eye. I also think the video you included does Maui a lot of justice and gives the reader an appropriate glace at what Maui is like. I’m not a huge fan of the font—I feel like for something this serious and touching, the font is a little juvenile and almost changes the tone of the piece into something less serious. I think you could have put a bit more work into incorporating a better photo as well; it doesn’t do the post justice in comparison to the quality of the writing, and kind of seems like you just threw it in there last minute. It just seems kind of abrupt. In terms of your actual writing, it is very clear and concise. You did a good job of visualizing Maui and comparing your state of “relaxation” to the chaos that it actually brings you. The only thing I’m a little confused about is how you start your post as “your new life in Maui” but also said at the end that leaving your mother was for the best. So is she not in Maui with you, or is she?
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